Updated: 5 days ago
Having uploaded my last video onto social media, it did the absolute opposite of what I had intended. Instead of helping me to become more positive I took a backward turn. I don't think I have been that depressed and anxious since the day I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour.
I NEEDED to pick myself up and get out of the frame of mind I was in. I was scared and worried about what people were saying or thinking when my face spasmed. WHY! I have no idea. I have never been one to worry about what others thought and I have always spoke my mind with good intentions.
Posting the video of me, showing my spasms was a way of awakening everyones trail of thought when it came to facial awareness. It still is.
Now (two weeks on) I have succumbed to the fact that what you see with me is literally what you get.
I picked Ruby up from school yesterday, first time since my post. And would you believe it, my face went the moment I got there. FROM LAUGHING at my own joke! I saw the headmistress who was standing outside with her arms crossed on her back just like the Queen so I made a joke of it. And for the first time I was able to get through the humiliation of this happening just by making a joke of myself and making others laugh. In a friendly and good way of course.
I setup my Facial Awareness Support Group and was supposed to go live. That didn't happen. I intend to do this of course now but I need more people aware of this group. I changed the name from Hemifacial Awareness to simply, 'Facial Awareness' as I have been in contact with so many others through social media going through so many similar things to me that it just didn't seem right focusing on one aspect of my journey.
What is my agenda now? To raise the all important awareness of brain tumours and in turn help others going through something similar. Raising Facial Awareness.
I have learned in the last week that in order to gain confidence in myself again I needed to learn to love myself and in doing so, I have gone down the 'Look Good, Feel Good' route.
Im just starting up a new side line business relating to beauty and I intend on Vlogging more (if that is what it's called) and hopefully by becoming the person I once was again it will help me to help others too.